Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
