you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
