He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
