Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
