what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
