i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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