sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
