You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize