u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
