i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
