I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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