I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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