Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
