Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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