At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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