Your mouth is God's brothel.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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