yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
