that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
