All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
