Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize