I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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