I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
