I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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