she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
