Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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