did you get engaged???
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
