I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize