so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
