I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
