there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
