I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
