i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
