He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
