i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
