R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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