I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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