they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
