Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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