..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize