Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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