i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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