Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
