My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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