I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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