my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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