she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
