youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
