he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
