we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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