He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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