I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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