i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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