Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize