none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
