Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
