I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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