He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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