How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
