One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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