i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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