Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
