Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
