i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
